Cheats

What a week.  Last week was just crazy, but I was happy that I still lost two pounds and decided to go shopping to get something to wear to Jonathon's graduation from ERT.  That was a huge mistake.  Five pounds was not enough to make me have a good shopping experience.  I came home still having no idea what I'm going to wear, and feeling like a giant whale who will never look good in a pair of skinny jeans again.  I tried really hard not to "eat" my feelings, knowing that it would only make me feel worse in the long run, but I gave in.

Let me back track.  Monday night was my cheat night.  I was craving spinach dip with pumpernickle bread and chicken fingers for some reason.  So I got that and a bottle of white wine for a new sangria recipe I wanted to try.  Well, what a flop.  The spinach dip was gross (it was Renee's....I thought everything by Renee would be awesome but apparently not), the chicken fingers were just those frozen ones, so they didn't fulfill the craving, and the sangria was gross so I could barely drink any of it.  The only successful part of the "cheat night" was the ice cream with brownies and hot fudge.  Delish.  No way around it.

So there was ice cream and fudge left over which is what I drowned my sorrows in last night.  It was funny though, because half way through I felt gross and disgusting and threw the rest away.  It's amazing what two weeks with little to no refined sugar will do to your body and your taste buds.  I have been getting my "sweets" from fruit like pineapple, apples, bananas, etc.  The pineapple especially is very sweet!  When you eat refined sugar after only eating mother nature's candy for a couple of weeks, you realize how digustingly sweet it is.  So.....I have learned a lot about myself through this experience.

1) If cheating doesn't feel good, don't do it.  There are times when you have to give in to cravings, but don't do it just because.
2) Sugar detoxing wasn't as hard as I thought it was, and I have way more control of my chocolate cravings now.
3) Eating bad food to make myself feel better doesn't work, it makes me feel worse.

This post would have been a lot more depressed sounding and self depricating had I not waited a day to write it.  Fortunately I am blessed to have an amazingly supportive husband who is so wonderful.  Also, I kicked ass on my run this morning.  I started out by running 1 km without stopping.  That is a big milestone for me.  I don't think I have ever done that before.  It sounds so insignificant when I compare it to my friends who just did their first marathons and half-marathons in the Ottawa Race Weekend, but to me, it's huge.  I really pushed myself and made myself proud.  So, because of that, this was a learning experience instead of a "I hate myself I'm going to give up on weightloss forever and just drink beer and eat chocolate forever" kind of experience.

PS This girl is friggin awesome.